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Harm reduction

HIV masturbation?

Hi I recently met a lady, and we did the following
1. She gave me a handjob
2. I masturbated on her buttocks ( but did not enter her anally)
3. I masturbated between her breasts.
I know one can't get hiv this way, but is there still a possibility and should i get tested? Or am I just being anxious?


Thanks for your good selfless works and saving lives. I will be brief and precise. I had sex with three CSW same night with condoms. However, on each occasion, i realized that the condom had partially slipped off when I withdraw. It slips off up to the middle of my penis and in one occasion almost 60% off, but never slipped off completely.

Also, one of the CSW gave me brief oral without condom for like 3 minutes.

Now, 5 days after the act, I have high fever (37.9 deg F, sore throat, runny nose, cough)

I have few questions:

1.Did I put my self at risk on any of these acts above. I know CSW are not necessarily higher risk than anyone else.
2. Can these be ARS symptoms? Can the symptoms come so early?
3. Do I need to test specifically for this act. I recently did HIV testing as required for my job annually..

Thanks a lot for your help. Dying of fear.

Docking/frottage versus anal sex


There has been a question bothering me for some time. I did already some research but couldn't find a correct answer.
I've read that the risk of getting HIV by jerking each other (man&man) is negligible. Also docking and frottage, where precum (or even cum) gets in contact with your or the other one's urethra, would be a negligible risk?

Now I'm wondering... Why is there such a bigger risk envolved with anal sex? Because the dick (and urethra) of the top boy also gets in contact with blood that contains HIV. It's about the same risk you do as with jerking each other, right? Because also fluids that contain HIV gets in contact with the urethra.

I've also read that still while jerking each other, there is a negligible risk that you get infected if your partner rubs precum or sperm on the urethra. Or is this totally wrong? If correct... Why is anal sex then such a bigger risk? Because it's about the same... Blood that gets in contact with your urethra.

The main question I don't understand is how a top can get infected. Because people are saying that the urethra is no way to get infected?

Thanks in advance


Please Assess My HIV Risk Exposure

On December 30th my boyfriend and I tried to have sex. The intercourse was protected, there was no oral/anal action at all. While he had his condom on he failed to achieve full erection, therefore, could not fully penetrate me (only for 10 sec or less). There was no ejaculation either. I did not know his HIV status though he claimed to be a virgin. 3 weeks later I have been experiencing cold like symptoms, low grade fever for a day, fatigue, joint pain and headaches. Are these signs of seroconversion? Should I get tested and what kind of test should I choose now? Antibody or Antigen?
Any input would be greatly appreciated.

My BF turned out to be POZ


Sorry about my post being too long but I have somewhat specific situation and I have not found the info on the net that would calm me down even though I ve been reading about HIV in the past 5-6 weeks.I have been through probably the worst few weeks of my life so far (and Im not trying to be dramatic). I have several questions and this forum seems the best place to bring it up.

So I am dating a guy since August who claimed to be negative as his test in June was negative. I was still insisting that he did a recent test as I also did one myself. On 17 Dec he turned out to be HIV positive and admitted having a risky encounter back in May (which his June test did not pick up). He was also devastated by the news so I believed him and stayed with him as I really didnt/dont want this to be any reason for a break up. However, this situation is not easy especially that I am still not sure about my status.

We had more and more unprotected sex as time passed in our relationship since I started to become more confident with him. I was bottom 100% of the time and I would say we had maybe 10% unprotected, never with ejaculation though. Since it is a distance relationship the encounters were on a 2-3 week basis. The last risky unprotected encounter was on 13 Dec. I was tested negative on 18th Dec right after he told me the bad news (I was already too late for PEP). On 2 Jan we had an unfortunate condom accident after which I immediately started PEP and I am currently doing it. Basically we found something whitish on the outside of the condom.

I was tested negative again before the PEP started on 2nd Jan (3 weeks after last unprotected encounter) and on the 18th Jan (5 weeks after unprotected sex and 2 weeks into PEP). About a week before my last test I had very bad flu like symptoms (sore throat, headache, shivering, sweating, swollen glands) but it faded away as quickly as it came within 24 hours.
My test centre uses 4th generation testing. I am confused a bit about the effect PEP has on the results.

So my questions are:

1. If I was tested negative on my last test 5 weeks after the last unprotected encounter but 2 weeks into PEP can I take it more or less accurate or the 2 week PEP alters this? (I know about PEP altering the test but my case is again somewhat special as the 3 weeks could have been enough to produce enough antibodies, right? Or the PEP can also reduce the number of such antibodies over time?) The last unprotected encounter worries me much more than the condom accident. So if I can somehow be sure about that encounter I will feel much better.

2. Should the symptoms I had for only 24 hours worry me?

3. My HIV specialist foresees the next test on 11 Feb (5.5 weeks after starting PEP and almost 9 weeks after last unprotected sex). Is this a correct time? Can I sleep better after this test in case it is neg?

4. I really dont want this to be a reason for break up as I love my BF and I want to be there to help him through these very bad times he is going through (he started the ART 10 days ago, and he is going through depression - me being the only one he can rely on). But I cannot live my life continuously taking PEP. Is there anyone here who is in a mix-status relationship? It would be great to hear some good practices we should get used to in order to live happy in such a relationship. (of course he sticks to his medication regimen, fortunately so far no side effects and he is also very worried about my status, and he loves me too :) ).

That's the story. Thanks a lot for reading and for all the info you may have.

Risk of HIV Transmission

Hi all,

I am extremely stressed and I am seeking for some advice. A couple of years back I had a mid-life crisis and used the services of several professional sex workers (both women and transsexual). I am married and have kids, but I guess it was a crazy moment (which I deeply regret) and made some bad choices.

All sex was always protected. In some occasions I bottomed, but it was at most for a couple of minutes and never more than 2 or 3 inches deep as was not comfortable. There was never ejaculation from the top in those encounters and they were quite brief. Once with a women a condom broke for a few seconds and we replaced it immediately (I don't think it was more than 30 secs). I am circumcised.

This behavior lasted for a while and then was abandoned completely almost a year ago.

A bit more than a month ago my wife came with an HPV in her pap and somehow started to read again about HIV. Since then, I can't take it out of my head. The more I read on the web, the more anxiety I get. Even though at the time I thought I practiced sex as safe as I could now I get all kinds of second thoughts and can't stop stressing over this. I am experiencing a lot of anxiety, specially thinking about the family impact this may have.

All these episodes happened about 2 years ago and I have been looking through everything that I have to search for flu / cold and the similar (especially close to an encounter). I only had one flu that was quite bad, but only for about 2 days (no rashes, no chills, no muscle pain). The year before that I had a bad cough that ended up in pneumonia (both events around November) - in this case never been in bed and working all the time through it.

Experts, what is your risk assessment of the situation described above? Do symptoms look like ARS? I am freaking out and would love to read what experts in the subject have to share about my situation.

Thanks a lot in advance!

oral exposure

i had oral sex with a man. He enjulated in my mouth. After 5 1/2 weeks i had a 4geneation test and it was negative. BUT after 6 weeks i haad muscle pain and a headache at the right side of my head and my right ear and behind my neck that lasted 3 nights. in 7 1/2 weeks almost i had one more 4generation test which was negative too. the pain in my neck lasted almost 3 weeks. in 13 1/2 weeks i had a finger tip test and it was negative too. is the pain in my neck an hiv symtom?? do i need to have more tests????thank you very much.



I'm a 21 years old heterosexual girl who's never had sex or came close to having it. Recently ( November 3rd) I met a guy ( HIV status unknown, though he later on told me he was not HIV+ positive) and we made out for a long time. We didn't do anything else. We met a couple more times in the next 20 days, and every time we would just make out ( deep kissing with tongue, biting, etc..He even left a hickey on my neck once). Then, I stopped seeing him around November 23rd, and I went out with a different guy ONE TIME.

The second guy also told me he was not HIV+. We made out on our date, and I tried giving him a hand job without condom. I stopped before he came. I don't really have any deep cuts on my hand except for the occasional stuff that hangs from my nails. I'm not sure what to call it. He also fingered ( or better to say just touched) me over my clothes ( leggings and underwear) for a few seconds. I never saw him again.

Now on week 6 ( from seeing the first guy) and 5 ( from seeing the second one), I got a sore throat, coughing, sneezing, and I did feel kind of cold around the house a few times ( might be a bit of fever??). I've been trying herbal remedies, and did not see a doctor, and my symptoms are getting better. I've definitely had worse colds. I should mention that before getting my symptoms, I did sleep in a somewhat cold room, went out a couple time without a coat, left the window open a couple times in my bedroom, and I spent a lot of time with my cousin who was sick at the time ( sore throat and coughing). We had a sleepover, I did her makeup, we shared meals, etc...

Do you think I should get tested for HIV? Is it possible to get it through kissing if the other person has blood in their mouth? Does my piercing make the risk higher? I got my piercing on September 25th. It was over a month old when I made out with the first guy. Oh, and also, I briefly kissed another guy during a truth or dare game at the beginning of October. It only lasted a few seconds, and I didn't get any symptoms. He's a friend of mine who's sexually active and smart enough to know how to be safe. Please answer me. I have never been this scared in my life. The idea of getting HIV without even having sex ever in my life sounds so terrifying yet silly at the same time. Please answer me.

Thank you!!!

Woried Sick

Hi I am from South Africa mail 35 year old. on 9th September 2015 I had a high risk exposure with a CSW. Since then I have done 5 ELISA 4th Gen tests and they were all negative. I have also had 6 Rapid test all negative. Last ELISA was done on 4th of Jan 2016.

Soon after my exposure I experienced symptoms stiff neck muscle pain it is now 4 months and I have swelling on my spleen and lymph nodes in my neck.

My wife is also now experiencing similar symptoms.

My question is do I still have to continue testing and is there other diseases that can cause this.
I read on the web that there is lots of people that have similar symptoms that also test negative.

Thanks for your help

Threesome with shared condom

I recently engaged in a threesome with two guys (I am a guy). One of them (the top) switched between penetrating me and the other guy multiple times, and while there were condom switchings, I was sure it was not consistent with the partner switchings. I have heard that HIV dies instantly upon exposure to oxygen, so I want to know whether this is indeed true, the risk level for this activity, and whether I should consider PEP. I have may be 50 hours left for PEP so any prompt response is highly appreciated.


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