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He Didn't Tell ME


I am nervous because I had oral sex with a man who was undetected for 30 years but he did not tell me until after it happened. He performed it on my penis and I only did it oral to his anus. We had a heavy make out session and he came on his body, but some of it got on me and I wiped it off with a towel. A week later I have some chest pain and my tongue is white with some bumps on the back of the tongue. Is it too late for prep?! What can I do?


Hi there,

Thank you for your inquiry. From what we gather from the question, you were asking about your risk of HIV acquisition from your oral sex exposure.

From the information given, this scenario is determined to be Low Risk: (Evidence of transmission occurs through these activities when certain conditions are met). Receiving oral sex is considered to be an act of Negligible Risk (There are no evidence or no documented cases of transmission. However, there is a theoretical possibility), yet, the performance of oral sex on another individual is what qualifies this scenario as Low Risk.

It is important to acknowledge that your partner has been undetectable for 30 years, which means your additional risk for HIV acquisition is no larger than a person who is HIV negative. This is what we call Undetectable = Untransmittable, which means that those who have undetectable viral loads cannot transmit HIV to their partners (1).

Please consider this quote from the CDC: "People living with HIV who take HIV medicine as prescribed and get and keep an undetectable viral load have effectively no risk of transmitting HIV to their HIV-negative sexual partners (1).

PEP (post exposure prophylaxis) is a method of protection from HIV that must be started within 72 hours post exposure (2).

It is nearly impossible to attribute any/all of your symptoms to HIV acquisition without comprehensive testing confirmation. It is recommended that you refer to a Physician for an HIV test to confirm your status.

All the best, AIDS Vancouver Helpline/Online, Cody