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Last month, i found out i am HIV positive. My boyfriend was shocked when i told him & is slowly breaking up with me
1.Will he be infected too?
2.If he is also infected, is it safe to still get married & have kids?
3. My ex visited and things happened. i didn't let him kiss me, make love but he sucked my breast for a long time. Will he be infected?
Best regards


Hello and thanks for contacting AIDS Vancouver with your question.

It sounds like you've really been going through a lot recently, with your new diagnosis and the challenges you are experiencing in your relationship. I hope you and your boyfriend are able to work out these challenges. Let's talk about your questions:

1 - In order for HIV transmission to occur, 3 factors must be present: a body fluid (blood, semen, rectal secretions, pre-cum, vaginal fluids, or breast milk), an activity (unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse, sharing needles, or mother-to-child transmission through childbirth or breastfeeding if the mother is not on HIV treatment), and direct access for the virus to enter the bloodstream (see the possible entry points in the Transmission Equation below). By looking at the HIV Transmission Equation, we can begin to understand what sorts of activities can and can't allow for HIV to transmit from one person to another. Check out the Risk Assessment Chart to learn more about the various risk levels associated with various activities. All in all, it would definitely be a good idea for your boyfriend to get tested for HIV.


• blood (including menstrual) • unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse • vagina
• semen • sharing needles • anus
• pre-cum • mother to child (in specific cases) • urethra in the penis
• rectal secretions • open cuts and sores (in theory)
• vaginal fluids • other mucosal membranes
• breast milk • points of needle injection


2 - It is definitely possible for an HIV-positive father and/or mother to have children who are HIV-negative! In order for this to be possible, it is important for the mother to be on anti-retroviral treatment (ART) for HIV throughout pregnancy. You can find a lot more information on HIV and pregnancy at the CATIE: HIV & Pregnancy and AVERT: HIV & Pregnancy websites.

3 - From the sounds of the encounter you described, where the only sexual activity that occurred was your ex sucking your breast, your ex would not be at risk of acquiring HIV. However, you may not necessarily know when you first became infected with HIV. In case you were HIV-positive without knowing it when you were having sexual relations with your ex, it would be a wise idea for him to get tested. We at AIDS Vancouver recommend HIV testing for anyone who is sexually active.

Lastly, if you're located within British Columbia, you may find it helpful to connect with one of our case managers in our Case Management program. Case managers can help you get connected with information, resources, and support as you learn about and experience life living with HIV. If you're located elsewhere, you can search your area for local AIDS Service Organizations to get connected with similar programs: support is key!

I really hope this information helps. Feel free to post again with any further questions you may have. Thanks again for contacting AIDS Vancouver.

All the best,


AIDS Vancouver Helpline Volunteer

AIDS Vancouver Online Helpline
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