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Very concerned and worried!


Hello, I have done something I never thought I would do and gave oral sex to another gentleman. He swears he is clean and has nothing that could have been transmitted to me, but this is sort of his lifestyle, not mine ever again. Too worrisome to let it lay. I am married, shame on me I know. My wife is out of town and comes back this weekend. I gave him oral sex for about 3-5 minutes it seemed and then freaked out and left. He never ejaculated. Now I am killing myself inside with guilt that I could have gotten the HIV virus and don't want to give it to my wife. Words of wisdom and advise?


Hi there,

Thank you for your inquiry. From what we gather from the question, you were asking about the risk of HIV transmission through the act of performing oral sex without a barrier. From the information given, this scenario is determined to be Low Risk: (Evidence of transmission occurs through these activities when certain conditions are met).

The act of performing oral sex is considered to be Low Risk due to the possibility of semen (or pre-ejaculate) coming into direct contact with the blood stream (fresh, open wounds in the mouth). Seminal fluid is considered a method for HIV transmission, and when certain conditions are met during oral sex, HIV transmission can occur.

Please consider that in most countries people who are HIV positive are required by law to disclose their HIV status with sexual partners. If your sexual partner is diligent in the surveillance of their sexual health (and are HIV negative) you may rest assured that you are not at risk. Further, those who have acquired HIV and are adequately medicated can present undetectable amounts of anti-bodies within their body, making it statistically unlikely that they will transmit HIV onto their sexual partners. Please visit the Undetectable = Untransmittable Campaign, provided by Catie (1) for more information.

Refer to our HIV Transmission Equation for any further HIV related transmission questions.

Recommendation: Refer to Physician for HIV test.

All the best, AIDS Vancouver Helpline/Online, Cody