I went through a traumatic breakup, and afterward being sad and heartbroken i got stupid and insecure, i met up with two different men that i didnt know, separate times. One i licked his penis no. Ejaculation and did some naked grinding but he didnt put it in, the other i did pretty much the same. I couldnt bring myself to actually have sex. Either time, but i was on their laps rubbing naked on their privates,and oral without allowing ejaculation, butnow im freaking out. Thry claim they are both std free but ive been feeling sick on and off for a month now. On and off nausea,sore mouth , pain in my vaginal area,and other odd things. Im so completely freaked and my axiety is getting worse and worse to the point where i just want to die.i got this weird bump behind my ear that didnt pop but just crusted over,a whole array of weird things. I want to take an hiv test but if its positive im scared of how ill react. Please,im not ok,like at worried omg what if i had a cut in my mouth im always cutting my mouth on something cause im forever eating, for real. Please help meeee
Hi there,

Thank you for contacting the AIDS Vancouver Helpline.

I understand that the two incidents are causing you a lot of anxiety. I do commend you for reaching out to us and for seeking education and help on this matter. You have described two different incidents that involved behaviours of different risk levels so I will answer them in the order they were presented.

I would first like to start by clarifying that there are NO clinically recognized symptoms of HIV infections and that these symptoms vary among different individuals. The only way to determine your HIV status is through HIV testing. I do understand your reluctance towards getting tested. However, it is important for individuals to take ownership of their bodies and to know where their status is. Knowing your status early will allow you to get the appropriate treatment and to get pre/post-test support. Getting tested for HIV can be seen as analogous to getting breast and prostate cancer exams. Why do men and women get tested for these cancers? so they can take the appropriate support and treatment in the case that they are actually diagnosed with cancer. If you live in the Vancouver Coastal area then feel free to call or email us so we can provide you with additional resources.

In terms of HIV transmission, I will start by describing the conditions that need to be met for there to be any risk of HIV infection. These conditions include the exchange of bodily fluids with potentially high viral loads (blood, semen) + engaging in high risk activities (unprotected anal/vaginal sex, needle sharing) + direct access to the blood stream.

If I understand the situations that you described correctly, they have involved oral sex and non-insertive masturbation. Both activities fall under the negligible risk category and thus you do not require testing. However, AIDS Vancouver recommends that all sexually active people be regularly tested for all STIs, including HIV, on a schedule that works for them.

I trust that I have answered your questions.

Best wishes,



Charitable Registration #
10668 9896 RR0001

© 2019
Privacy Policy


1101 Seymour Street
Suite 235, 2nd Floor
Vancouver, BC V6B 0R1


Main Phone: 604-893-2201
Fax: 604-893-2205