About a week ago I received a blowjob from a girl that I did not know, thus I do not know her health status and whether she had HIV/Aids or any other STI/STD. She also gave me a hand job for a bit. This all happened in a threesome while my friend had sex with her, but I only received the blowjob and hand job and she never gave him a blowjob or anything. So like I mentioned before I have no clue what her HIV status is but my friend who had sex with her a couple times before and has been having sex with her for nine months now said she was clean. And to the best of my knowledge my friend is free of any STI’s. I also can’t recall whether she had cuts or anything on her hands or cuts or sores in her mouth or whether she had bleeding gums or anything. I also never got fully hard and never ejaculated because I realized I was doing something that could be high risk and just ended up leaving. I don’t know if the not fully erect part or not ejaculating would affect anything, im just giving the full story. About ten to twenty minutes after I left, I decided to take a shower. I used a brand new sponge to clean my genitals and after that I noticed I needed to shave my pubes which I did in the shower. After I shaved I believe I used the sponge again to clean my genitals. I don’t remember bleeding after the shave but most likely had shave irritation and some minor shave cuts but again I don’t remember bleeding or anything. I know that the risk of getting HIV is very slim when receiving a blowjob or handjob but the fact that I don’t know whether she had any cuts or bleeding gums or anything and the fact that I shaved my pubes and then used the sponge to clean the area when there was some slight irritation has me concerned. So please answer these questions in order, Im really freaking out and I just want to be certain when it comes to my health. Some of these seem paranoid but when it comes to this kind of stuff, I live by Murphy’s law…what can go wrong will go wrong.
1- What is my general risk of getting HIV whether she had cuts or bleeding gums or not in her mouth when I received a blowjob, or if she had cuts on her hands while giving me a handjob? Also to the best of my knowledge I had no cuts or sores on my penis but again I cant be certain. I don’t know if you can get HIV from say blood or saliva getting into the urethra? Also remember I did not ejaculate or get fully hard, so what affect does that have if any?
2- In theory what would be the risk of getting HIV if I had a cut on my penis and she had a cut or blood in her mouth and she gave me a blowjob? Or say I had a cut on my penis and she had a cut or something on her hand? How deep of cut would there need to be?
3- I don’t remember seeing blood on my penis or anything after the blowjob but in theory if there was how long could the virus last sitting on my penis?
4- (Very paranoid question) So say the virus somehow stayed alive what are the chances it survived through the sponge wash I gave my penis, somehow got attached to the sponge then got into my bloodstream after I shaved and then used the sponge to clean the area again?
5- Also in general, would the slight cuts or shave irritation be a deep enough cut that would allow for the virus to get into my bloodstream? Or say if there was a small amount of blood from the shave cuts, would that be a deep enough cut for the virus to get into my bloodstream?
6- I know the risk of getting HIV from receiving a blowjob is very low, however how does that change if she has any cuts in her mouth or hands or if I have any cuts on my penis or both?
7- Also say she had vaginal fluids come out of her vagina and then got on my friends penis and say she touched his penis when they were re positioning and got some of the fluids on her hands and then gave me a handjob? Would there be any risk there, or would the virus die?
8- Do you think im at all at risk of getting HIV in this whole given situation? Should I get tested and if I should how long should I wait to get reliable results? Ive seen it takes 3 months to get reliable results but I don’t think I can keep this on my mind for 3 months….
9- Also since I don’t know her health status I plan on getting tested for other STI’s soon and would it be about two weeks after the potential exposure, that’s why im wondering how long it will take to get reliable results for HIV.
Thank you for the help!

Thank you for contacting the AIDS Vancouver Helpline as your source for HIV/AIDS information. You sound very stressed about this situation and have many "what if" questions. To help you, I will try to answer your question as simply as possible and by providing you with facts.

Before I answer your questions, I would like to show you the HIV Transmission Equation. To get HIV, you must have all 3 of these factors present.


---------- -------- ----------------------------
• blood (including menstrual) • unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse • vagina
• semen • sharing needles • anus
• pre-cum • mother to child (in specific cases) • urethra in the penis
• rectal secretions • open cuts and sores (in theory)
• vaginal fluids • other mucosal membranes
• breast milk • points of needle injection
First, receiving a hand job is considered a no risk situation. It is no risk because it has none of the factors listed above (you did not engage in any insertive activity, there is no exchange of body fluids and there was no direct access for the other person's fluids to enter your body).

Second, receiving oral sex is considered a negligible risk. Negligible means that while there is a potential for transmission due to the exchange of body fluids, there has never been any confirmed reports of infection occurring in this manner. Since receiving oral sex has one of the factors listed above (exchange of body fluids), it is considered a negligible risk. On the other hand, giving oral sex is considered a low risk activity as it has two of the factors listed above (exchange of body fluids and direct access for the virus to enter the blood stream). Since it was your female partner giving you oral sex, she is actually at a higher risk of contracting HIV from you (if you had it) than you are from her!

With regards to your concern regards cuts, please know that when we talk about cuts posing as an access point for HIV to enter the body, we are talking about deep, large and actively bleeding cuts. This is because our body has many layers of skin and mechanisms designed to protect outside particles, like HIV, from entering our body. The cuts you describe in the situation do not seem to fit the description and therefore, pose as no risk.

Last, please take note of the fact that HIV is transmitted from person to person and direct access to the blood stream is needed for HIV to be transmitted. This means that the virus needs to go directly from the other person and then into your body through an access point. The reason for this is because HIV is very weak and when it exits the body, it is broken down and can no longer cause infection. Therefore, there is no way the virus could have gone from your female partner's vagina, to your friend's penis, back to the female partner's hand and then to you. Likewise, there is no way the HIV can go from the sponge and then yourself.

Based on this risk assessment, you do not need to be tested for HIV. However, if you are very worried about it, it may be [helpful to get tested]( just get the peace of mind you are searching for. AIDS Vancouver recommends that all sexually active people be tested on a regular basis for all STI's and HIV. We also recommend [safe sex practices]( such as the use of condoms during sexual activity.

I hope I have answered your questions. Please feel free to contact us if you have any more questions or refer to the link provided for more information.

Best wishes,


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