After I delivered the baby four months ago, I suddenly started to suffer from OCD-contamination, especially HIV due to some bad experiences while using the public toilet at my school. I know there were several post about toilet-related questions but I'd really appreciate the doctor could review my questions and answered all of them at one time. Please give some help to a worrisome, anxious, tired new mom. Here are some episodes trigger my deep fear of HIV infection:
Episode 1. Horrible backsplash happened during bowl movement with the bleeding hemorrhoids. The laceration repair has been healed but left an external hemorrhoids like polyps that iwas also bleeding a little bit during that backsplash. I was so scared and did the test after three months that is negative.
Episode 2: Tiny backsplash still would like to happen sometimes while I pee after the test. Am I at risk?
Episode 3: I noticed some suspicious dry blood on the toilet seat before using the toilet. I wiped it with a partially damp paper towel (I washed my hand before using the toilet and the dry the hand with paper towel). The paper towel turns a little bit red and I realized that might be blood so I gave up using that toilet. However, I forgot whether I washed my hand after that wiping action before I used the new paper to wipe my annal area after bowl movement. Although my hemorrhoids is not bleeding during that bowl movement, it was bleeding one day before and I also have a minor annal fissure. So, what if the blood diffuse through the damp paper towel and touch my finger, my finger touch new paper and then my annal fissure and hemorrhoids. Was I be on risk? Later I was sure that I washed my hand, although there is no cut on my hand that wiped the toilet seat, there is a cut on my another hand. My two hands rubbed each other while washing. Is there any risk? I touched my lips where there is a cut and eyes after washing my hand with soap, will I be on risk?
Due to those things, I am too afraid to use public toilet...
Thank you for your patience to read my long questions.