It is with a worried heart that I am writing to you now. I have been in a series of committed monogamous relationships with women my whole life. I have been with my current girlfriend for 4 years, and we look forward to being together long term and having kids.

On October 29th, I gave into a lifelong curiosity and met a gay man. We French kissed, he licked and bit my nipples (no blood or breaking the skin to my knowledge), and with a bottle of lube he had, we gave each other mutual hand jobs (although he took over before he ejaculated, and I never touched his semen), and I used my hand that had touched his penis as well to finish myself off.

I realized after that it was something I was curious about more in theory, than in practice, and am worried that I not only jeopardized my own health, but could my girlfriend’s particularly if we are wanting to have kids sooner rather than later. I was also concerned because the person I was with had mentioned he had passed a kidney stone within the last week, and was unsure if this made him more susceptible to transmission to me if he was infected.

I visited my Doctor the next morning, and got Zithromax and a shot cocktail for some of the STDs that might be possible, and I asked him for Truvada (which I started taking 24 hours after the encounter), and Kaletra (which I took 28 hours after the encounter), and asked for a referral for an Infectious diseases doctor. While my Doctor is good, I wanted to at least put things in place, and stop later if need be. I am also seeing a psychologist to talk shop about things.

This is because I absolutely wanted to make sure that I never passed anything on to my girlfriend whom I immediately told what happened. So the question is what is my risk for infection, and when is the all clear for unprotected sex with my partner to try and become pregnant?

Thanks for contacting AIDS Vancouver Helpline. I will try and answer your questions as best I can.

First off kissing and mutual masturbation are no risk activities. Saliva is not a fluid known to transmit HIV. It has been estimated a person would have to drink more than a gallon of saliva to be at risk for HIV infection. Saliva actually contains an enzyme that inhibits HIV. Mutual masturbation has no exchange of body fluids because there is no direct access to your bloodstream.

It is great you took such a proactive approach to your health by visiting your doctor the following morning. I am unclear why PEP was given to you since your activity had no risk.
and typically, here in Canada, PEP is offered during high risk activities.

Nonetheless, take the PEP medication for the full month dosage and partner with a doctor. Testing is the only way to know for sure whether you have acquired HIV.
The World Health Organization considers all tests conclusive at 12 weeks/ 3 months. The 3rd Generation (ELISA) or Rapid tests can be taken 4 weeks to 3 months post exposure. Up to 95% of infections are detectable within 4-6 weeks. Most people develop detectable antibodies in 21-25 days. Rapid test can you results within seconds.

So, in your situation, and answer your question of when is it clear for unprotected sex with your partner to try to get pregnant, follow through with your PEP medication and then be tested 3 moths after the last dosage of PEP and then start to discuss sexual activities with your partner.

We do want to congratulate you on having an open and free discussion with your partner after your sexual experience. Discussion with partners about sexual health is great!

Feel free to call or email if you have further questions.

Best Wishes,


AIDS Vancouver Volunteer Helpline

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