Anonymous
Hello everybody, I hope you're doing well.
I would very much like to ask you a few questions concerning a series of encounters I've had lately with a girl(friend) whose HIV status is unknown to me.

I know you get a million questions always addressing the same topics, but so far my anxiety levels are getting a hold of me, reason why in the end I've decided to write you.

Here goes (and many thanks in advance):


1 - Does fingering a girl with a small (non bleeding, but healing) cut in your finger pose a risk for HIV?
2 - Does getting an unprotected blowjob pose a risk? What about strong-ish lip-bites and hickies from the both of us?
3 - Does dry humping pose a risk for HIV? With both of us in our underwear? She was very lubricated and I had some pre-cum in my boxer shorts too. I recall at a certain point a bit of penetration going on, despite the obstacle our undies presented. It wasn't just the rubbing, but also some attempts at penetration...
4 - What about pregnancy? Can it happen in the situation described on "3"? [I cannot remember by now, but let's assume my hands had been in contact with my semen [not wet] by the time I also fingered her.]
5 - In the end, a week later after "3" we ended up having real sex (protected). But, with all the excitement I recall the first condom being put inside out. Risk for HIV?
I swapped it immediately after by another; by then correctly placed. I recall both our hands having been in contact by both our fluids (hers, most importantly). Risk for HIV? What about for pregnancy? [I cannot tell for sure but I think both our hands were not "actively" wet on bodily fluids.]
6 - The day after "5" we had sex again and this time I ejaculated (protected, once more). We went for seconds and again, on both occasions, the condom was placed with my hands dirty from both our fluids (hers, most importantly; and mine, from the first orgasm). Risk for HIV? What about for pregnancy? [I cannot tell for sure but I think both our hands were not "actively" wet on bodily fluids.]
7 - What about giving oral sex? She asked me to but I already knew in advance that giving is potentially more dangerous than receiving. I ended up choosing to masturbate her only, with a bit of fondling by my nose. Does this pose a risk, considering her fluids were in contact with the mucus of my nose?


I'm a little (very) scared because on all of these 4 condoms I only checked the validity date in *one* of them (manufacted in 2013, expiry date in 2017).
(I never noticed for any ruptures or cracks in the condoms after removing them.)


Tomorrow will be day 15 (2 weeks mark) since we've started getting more intimate (the dry humping episode) and I've been developing some sore throat + flu/cold like symptoms since last Saturday - and I know there's a fever coming in any day now.
... 11 days after we've had the dry humping episode. 3 days after having had sex for the first time.

Important note: she's been sick too recently and has had at least 2 different partners (protected, she claimed) in the past 3 months.

Deep down in my gut I have the impression I've taken precautions in all events, but doubts still float around due to fear.



I know for sure (100% sure) prior to these episodes I wasn't HIV positive.

8 - In the meantime we've agreed to give one another the reassurance of running HIV tests. I'll be below the 3 month mark. For her, 4 weeks ever since we've met (assuming she hasn't had anyone else in the meantime). If she turns out to be negative, is it somewhat safe for me to draw some indirect conclusions?
9 - Is it or is it not a good indicator if a person is negative by week 4? I've read some much info about weeks 4, 6 8 and finally 12; it's stressing/mis-leading to say the least.
10 - I've also read about the accuracy a 4th gen 95% test gives by week 4. What makes up for the final 5%?...


Because I don't know about her history, and read also in the meantime that during the window period the danger of infecting others can sky rocket by up to 26 times; here's where my preoccupation lies (yep, I've been doing a lot of reading)...



Again, please accept my deepest and sincere gratitude in any clarification you might shed, especially because of the ridiculous amount of questions I placed.
Yours,
DD
Quote
Anonymous
Hello and thanks for contacting AIDS Vancouver with your questions. Let's answer them!


1 - Does fingering a girl with a small (non bleeding, but healing) cut in your finger pose a risk for HIV?

* Fingering, is considered a Negligible Risk. This means that the practices assigned to this risk level present a potential for HIV transmission because they do involve the exchange of body fluids. However, there has never been a confirmed report. The superficial cut on your hand would have to be actively bleeding and deep enough to need stitches or surgery to potential increase risk.


2 - Does getting an unprotected blowjob pose a risk? What about strong-ish lip-bites and hickies from the both of us?

* Receiving oral sex is also considered to be a Negligible Risk. "strong-ish lip-bites and hickies" are No Risk activities. This means that to our knowledge, none of the practices in this category have ever been demonstrated to lead to HIV infection.


3 - Does dry humping pose a risk for HIV? With both of us in our underwear? She was very lubricated and I had some pre-cum in my boxer shorts too. I recall at a certain point a bit of penetration going on, despite the obstacle our undies presented. It wasn't just the rubbing, but also some attempts at penetration...

* This would be considered a Negligible Risk. Just to remind you, this means that the practices assigned to this risk level present a potential for HIV transmission because they do involve the exchange of body fluids. However, there has never been a confirmed report. HIV needs a human host to survive. Once it is outside of the body (on the underwear) and exposed to oxygen, it can no longer transmit.


4 - What about pregnancy? Can it happen in the situation described on "3"? [I cannot remember by now, but let's assume my hands had been in contact with my semen [not wet] by the time I also fingered her.]

* On this forum we assess HIV risk, I cannot given you an assessment of pregnancy risk.



5 - In the end, a week later after "3" we ended up having real sex (protected). But, with all the excitement I recall the first condom being put inside out. Risk for HIV?
I swapped it immediately after by another; by then correctly placed. I recall both our hands having been in contact by both our fluids (hers, most importantly). Risk for HIV? What about for pregnancy? [I cannot tell for sure but I think both our hands were not "actively" wet on bodily fluids.]


* Vaginal and Anal sex with a condom are considered a Low Risk activity regardless of the condom being inside out. This means that The practices assigned to this risk level present a potential for HIV transmission because they involve an exchange of body fluids. There have been a few reports of infection attributed to these activities (usually under certain identifiable conditions). We only assess risk of HIV transmission on this forum, therefore I cannot give you an assessment of pregnancy risk. Like HIV tests, you can ask your doctor for a pregnancy test if this is a concern of yours.


6 - The day after "5" we had sex again and this time I ejaculated (protected, once more). We went for seconds and again, on both occasions, the condom was placed with my hands dirty from both our fluids (hers, most importantly; and mine, from the first orgasm). Risk for HIV? What about for pregnancy? [I cannot tell for sure but I think both our hands were not "actively" wet on bodily fluids.]

* Same answer as #5.


7 - What about giving oral sex? She asked me to but I already knew in advance that giving is potentially more dangerous than receiving. I ended up choosing to masturbate her only, with a bit of fondling by my nose. Does this pose a risk, considering her fluids were in contact with the mucus of my nose?

* No Risk. Once HIV is outside of the body and exposed to air (on your nose) it can no longer transmit. HIV needs direct access to the bloodstream to transmit. Your nose does not provide direct access to your bloodstream. Giving Oral Sex is considered a Low Risk activity. Saliva has an enzyme in it that inhibits the transmission of HIV. There are also oral dams that you can purchase. The oral dam is placed over the vagina and acts as a barrier to HIV transmission.



8 - In the meantime we've agreed to give one another the reassurance of running HIV tests. I'll be below the 3 month mark. For her, 4 weeks ever since we've met (assuming she hasn't had anyone else in the meantime). If she turns out to be negative, is it somewhat safe for me to draw some indirect conclusions?

* You cannot get HIV from a person who is negative.




9 - Is it or is it not a good indicator if a person is negative by week 4? I've read some much info about weeks 4, 6 8 and finally 12; it's stressing/mis-leading to say the least.

* Up to 95% of infections are detectable within 4-6 weeks post exposure. Most people develop detectable antibodies in 21-25 days. Any test you are given in that 4-6 week window period will show results that are highly accurate. All HIV tests considered conclusions at 3 months post exposure.



10 - I've also read about the accuracy a 4th gen 95% test gives by week 4. What makes up for the final 5%?...

* The 4th Generation EIA test is a blood test that looks for antibodies AND p24 protein antigens. Commonly referred to as the "combination," "combo" or "DUO" test. | Antigen (ag) test - P24 protein is detectable immediately after infection, & only for the first few weeks. The antibody (ab) test has a window period of 4-12 weeks. Most HIV specialists consider this test to be conclusive at 6 weeks. Official HIV testing guidelines still recommend re-testing at 12 weeks for conclusive results. Accuracy is 99.9% The little bit of percentage left over is because there's always a small chance of someone out there not meeting the criteria for the window period to be accurate. There are 4 things that can affect the 4-6 week window period. (1) You are currently on P.E.P treatment (2) You are currently receiving treatment for cancer (chemotherapy) (3) You are receiving treatment for Hep C (4) You have an auto immune disorder, which you would know about at birth.

There are currently no symptoms that we attribute to HIV whereas HIV presents itself differently in different people. The symptoms you have been feeling could be indicative of other viral infections. Therefore, I would encourage you to check in with your doctor and discuss those symptoms. Your doctor can help provide you with a treatment plan to make the symptoms go away.


I would also encourage you to check out the following resources for more information about HIV:

  • Risk Assessment Chart


  • The Body


  • Smart Sex Resource


  • Thanks for contacting AIDS Vancouver.

    Hilary

    AIDS Vancouver Online Helpline

    helpline.aidsvancouver.org

    Private & Confidential

    Quote

    ABOUT THE HELPLINE | SUPPORT OUR WORK | RISK ASSESSMENT CHART | ANONYMOUS TESTING | DISCLAIMER | CONTACT

    Charitable Registration #
    10668 9896 RR0001


    © 2019 helpline.aidsvancouver.org
    Privacy Policy
    Disclaimer

    OUR ADDRESS

    1101 Seymour Street
    Suite 235, 2nd Floor
    Vancouver, BC V6B 0R1
    Canada


    GET IN TOUCH

    Main Phone: 604-893-2201
    Fax: 604-893-2205
    Email: contact@aidsvancouver.org