I will be very specific in order to help with a little bit of peace. I was an idiot and I have no excuse.

One week ago I was for the first time in my life - 43 y.o., to an erotic massage with a sex worker. What happened:
- cleaning at shower: I finger her on the front (vagina) and back, in total three times.
To be mentioned: I didn't have any open cuts, wharfs, herpes, bleeding, etc. I have on a very small area a dry skin with superficial cracks like the one you have when you work with tools and friends say "harsh hands", but no bleeding, no substances out, at least 35h older (I finished job on Thursday at 14.40 and happened Saturday at 00.20). The dry skin weren't the result of bleeding, whatever accidents having a result a bleeding, fluid going out
I want to emphasize that it wasn't an open wound or leaks, everything was closed and the skin was like that for than two days. 12 hours later I made a test and I put my finger in medical alcohol (70%) to see if I feel anything, no symptoms.
She doesn't have any bleeding. I fingered her three times not more than 40 seconds, one front and twice back - back once with cream.

I didn't touched myself in open area after (eye, mouth, penis, etc) and I wash with water at least.

I explained my situation to a dermatologist and she explained me that that one is not an open wound, etc ... but I'm still confused

- hand job: at shower I'm not sure if it was with or without ejaculation I believe no. Her hands where clean from eye point of view, with no wharfs, ulcerations, cracks, open wounds, etc
. She decollated before shower my penis, but she didn't touched the area under the skin with mouth, fingers, etc

- massage: during the massage she wanted to rub her genital area from mine, but 100% she didn't touch the entrance of my penis and more than that when she tried I said no and I put a towel on me.
I was surprised but prepared and she tried the happy ending I said no w.o. a condom and I put one latex nylon 99 and I remember that I didn't ejaculated and I hold it with my hand. During the 20 sec the condom was there and at the end I tried to see if is broken filling it with water, no leaks.

Of course I had a shower with soap and I had taken Zinnat 500mg immediately for 5 days.

I was stupid, I was ..., I made a big mistake and I hope to be forging by family and God. I couldn't bear what I did and I told to my wife ... and the dermatologist doctor - my close friend but a lady.

My question is related with the thing mentioned in the title

Can you please help with a direct opinion?

You cannot image how sorry I'm, but is to late the thing was done and there is no excuse.

Thank you a lot for your help
Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to AIDS Vancouver, I'm happy to address your concerns.

To start off, you should not feel ashamed or feel bad about yourself. We are all human beings, we all make choices that we may later regret... but we all have the ability to learn from them. I am sorry that this particular situation is troubling you. It's great that you are taking initiative and reaching out for help. I hope to alleviate any feelings of worry or fear that you may have. Let's first assess your risk, and work through this together.

1. Fingering is considered to be negligible risk, which means that although there is a potential for HIV transmission, there has never been a confirmed report in science. The only way to acquire HIV through cuts and wounds, is if the cuts are severe enough to require immediate medical attention such as stitches. You are right, that you cannot acquire HIV through superficial cuts on "harsh hands", but (hypothetically speaking), if your hands were bleeding uncontrollably, then there might be a risk, since there would be direct access to the bloodstream.

2. Hand jobs are considered no risk, because hand jobs have never been demonstrated to lead to HIV transmission.

3. Massage is also considered to be no risk. It's important to understand that HIV cannot live outside of the body, and when it is exposed to oxygen (the air), the virus becomes dismantled and unable to be transmitted to another person.

4. It's good to hear that you used a condom, as this is the most effective way of preventing HIV transmission.

5. Taking medication, such as Zinnat, will not effect your risk of acquiring HIV nor will it have an affect on your HIV test results.

So, in conclusion, your experience with the erotic massage sex worker did not put you at risk for acquiring HIV. For your own peace of mind, you could get tested to ensure that you are negative. However, we here at AIDS Vancouver would not consider testing to be urgent nor necessary, for your specific case.

We also encourage all sexually active people to incorporate HIV testing in their annual health checkup. For more information, please visit our website at

All the best,



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